Ever heard the phrase, “We marry our parents?” The statement in and of itself isn’t wholly accurate; rather, it implies that we are attracted to what feels familiar. Unintentionally, we may seek partners who remind us of those in our early development as they model what we should expect in relationships. To make matters more complex, as Queer Folx, we don’t tend to have models or representations of Queer relationships—so many of us are figuring it out as we go along.

Dr. Crosby is trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which explores how we attach to others romantically and how those attachments inform the expectations we have of our romantic and sexual partners. Conflict in our romantic relationships generally occurs when our attachment/emotional needs aren’t met. We try to signal our needs to our partner(s), but those signals may be repeatedly missed. With each miss, our signals may become more intense and manifest in arguing, yelling, becoming jealous or clingy, attention-seeking behaviors, silent treatment, emotional withdrawal, etc., ultimately creating more emotional distance between partners.

In Couples Therapy, we work to identify the emotional needs of all partners and create emotional attunement to those needs in an attempt to approach the relationship(s) in healthier and more satisfying ways.